Tributes. What are they really?
1. an act, statement, or gift that is intended to show gratitude, respect, or admiration. 2. HISTORICAL - payment made periodically by one state or ruler to another, especially as a sign of dependence.
In Kink? That is something the same, but different. Right?
If you Google "What is a tribute to a Mistress?" you will most likely run into a small handful of amazing interpretation from brilliant Mistresses from various parts of the world, each with a bit of a different version of the same. The pure fact that there is not much information out there combined with the lack of understanding I see in so many submissives convinced Me I needed to write this blog.
My initial introduction as a Domme was as an exchange for an arranged session of services. As time grew on I researched more information into what it meant to other people. I found out that it is a very typical thing in the lifestyle and a common occurrence for a submissive give the Dominant gifts, acts of service, and tokens of affection, gifts and more. As I grew in My various dynamics with subs the tributes they have given Me have all contributed towards My life, Lifestyle and My development. My subs take the time to get to know Me, and I will always prefer the thoughtful tributes. I prefer to play with those who are aware of the importance of a Tribute for a Mistress. The choice is Mine.
Allow Me to explain to you if you don't quite know.
Tributes are meant in the same spirit that a devotee would bring gifts and flowers to their Goddess at a temple somewhere. The core of where the intention comes from roots in that perception. Part of the symbiosis between a Domina and their subs lies in the devotion one has for the other. Both "looking out" for the other in various ways, complimentary ways. If either side shows up to the arrangement "empty handed", the dynamic will not last long.
Many people have it confused on both sides of the lines. Let Me explain.
There are far too many people on the internet demanding money. Often times in exchange for nothing, and neither side ends up really establishing a bond or any kind of dynamic at all. I can understand how many submissives can be weary or any exchanges over the internet and rightfully so. Often times scammers (Mostly men posing as Femdoms and frauding people out of money) also disrupt and taint the culture around tributes, further exacerbating the issue. All of the abuse and misuse of the exchange in gifts, money and service to a Mistress in exchange for Her attention, affection and caring into Her Dominance have driven people to believe that tributes are something they are not. Be weary of fakes, both sides. However don't let the fact that there are fakes and scammers out there keep you from reciprocating and tributing your Mistress or Goddess. Just be smart about what you do and how you do it, both parties.
Please note that financial domination is a very fun and thrilling style of play but like all forms of play negotiations and safety must be established. Many times, someone who only does findom or financial domination and does not adhere to the other rules of proper BDSM is possibly not interested in you as a submissive, so play with caution. I suggest you take the time both Dommes and subs, to look into what that type of play really is before you either show up demanding money or hand over your paycheck to some online "princess". That is My word of caution on that. I enjoy financial domination, but I know what it really is and that is only 1 component of servitude to Me.
Let Me give you some advice on how, when and why to tribute. Firstly, don't think you can approach a Mistress without something and expect Her to take you serious. Any qualified Domina will not just dispense you your kink and expect or take nothing in return. Lifestyle or Professional, neither should or would allow that. Tribute when you want to do something nice for, in support of, or in time of Her hardship. The best tributes are the kind We prefer, so take the time to find out what Her preferred method of tribute is. A tribute that cannot be redeemed is useless and will only frustrate. Tribute when you are seeking Her attention. Let Her know that you are tributing and seeking Her time and dominance. Requesting Her attention and dominance without a tribute is seen as selfish and demanding replied to most certainly in being ignored.
I suggest researching your Dominas thoroughly. Make sure She is skilled, and trustworthy. Vet Her, as She will vet you. (or She should, in My opinion.) Make sure that you understand (in a general sense) who She is and what Her style is like. I suggest following Her social media accounts and in times when sex workers struggle, tribute Her. For example, in times like now where almost nobody can safely see new clients or take business at the levels of before the pandemic, tribute Her. She is impacted hard and needs your service and devotion now more than ever.
Now I know what many of you are thinking, "But I don't make THAT much money! How can I possibly do that all the time?" and really I have to ask you... Do you really think it has to be a big deal all of the time? NO!
Even sending a cup of coffee to a Domina and well wishes for a good shoot or successful event can really have an impact on a Dominas day and life. Yes, many Dominas desire large tributes and often, but I have never heard of someone rejecting a tribute for being too small. So shake that notion from your mind. If that is what is keeping you from this reciprocation that is foolish and I implore you to change your perception of it.
At the end of the day it comes down to the memories we make in this world. Those are the experiences we keep forever. An experienced Domina has taken the time to learn the craft, the skills needed, toe maturity to be the strength in the dynamic you seek, so reciprocate and show your devotion. Without this reciprocation the dynamic symbiosis dies. Commit to the lifestyle you have chosen. Do not pick and choose from it what you like and realize there is much more to the roles than what appears on the surface. Keep the beauty of O/our roles and participate within your role. I promise you will all be more happy if you do. A happy Mistress is the goal, always.
Be well and good to each other.